Added, day three, dusk.
I didn’t want to say earlier, it sounded a bit naïve and silly even to me but I’ve thought about it and decided I want to share this with you as well. You’re reading my journal after all and since it contains my deepest fears and secrets I guess there’s no point hiding anything. There is one other thing I’ve taken away from the village. Though I don’t have any proof and can’t be sure, the fact I didn’t find much of use while searching the ruins tells me that at some point it must have been looted and picked over and though I’m not certain, I think it happened after the bombs had fallen. If I’m right then maybe whoever those survivors were, wherever they’ve gone, their children might still be around somewhere and if that’s the case then maybe I can find them and if I can find them, then maybe I don’t have to spend the rest of my life alone. Thinking about it gives me hope and a feeling of purpose beyond simply surviving. I’ve decided once I deal with the immediate challenges I face I’m going to search for these people and join them. And so what if this is naïve but you know what? This is what I need right now, a sense of purpose, something to aim for. However stubborn I am, I’ve realised that simply surviving won’t be enough, I need to have hope that somewhere I might find a place I can call home, somewhere I can belong.
Laura
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